Yes, this is my break up letter with you.
It’s not you, it’s me.
Our relationship just didn’t go the way I had hoped or envisioned it. You brought me a lot more heartache, exhaustion and disappointment than I would care to admit. You also brought terrible panic attacks, ER visits, physical and mental exhaustion, depression, physical and emotional pain, financial hardship, and fractured relationships. So you can see why I am breaking up with you…
I guess you weren’t completely horrible though. You did bring me a lot of blessings such as: new friendships, a new job, vulnerability and acceptance, a closer relationship with God, self love, new diagnoses, repaired relationships, forgiveness, better physical health and so much love.
You also taught me many lessons in our time together. You taught me to love myself. Something I have needed to learn my entire life. You helped me develop my voice. Something that I felt I never had or deserved. You put me in my place and taught me to rest. You taught me that it’s not about how much money you make by the end of the year, but its about how you grew, how you were blessed and how much love you received and gave. You taught me that my God is good no matter what is happening around me. You taught me that I am loved and I am lovable. You taught me to care for myself and others in ways I never have before.
Thank you 2019. You tried to break me, and you almost succeeded; however, you only showed me how strong I am and how faithful my God is. Thank you for breaking my pride, my self hatred and my negative outlook. Thank you for the heartbreak and the pain, for it helped me to see the good and the light.
Goodbye 2019… I’ll be sure to remember you for all of the good that you brought to my life.